Do I look like a Hugger?

First of all, let me start by apologizing.

I am sorry if I have ever given anyone the idea that I actually enjoy being hugged. I am sorry for all the times I might have come running towards you in slow motion with my arms stretched out wide with a “hug me” look on my face. Oh wait, I never do that. So why, why, why Delilah, do people always insist on hugging me? And who was this Delilah lady? I wonder if she got hugs from random strangers all the time as well. Anyway. This is something that has been bugging me for ever, no exaggeration, genuinely forever, so I thought, what better way to get the message out there than to post it on the internet. It saddens me that I have had to go through such extreme measures to protect my self against all the Huggers out there.

I might be sounding a bit harsh right now. If there are any Huggers out there reading this… please understand, I have nothing against you Huggers hugging each other, but leave me and other like myself, out of the bear grip.

At this point, I can imagine that you are thinking to yourself: “Shame, this poor girl must have some sort of an intimacy problem” or “She must be anti-social” or who knows what else. No, I am not anti-social and I certainly do not have problems with intimacy. What I do however have a problem with, is random, strangers thinking that it is totally acceptable to squeeze my body against their body, at any given time or place that they might feel like it. It baffles me that there are so many things that our society looks down on, and disapproves of, but hugging people who clearly wishes not to be hugged is clearly not one of them.

It is simple really. Some people smoke, some don’t. Some people bake, some don’t. Some people wear bicycle shorts, even though they shouldn’t, and some, thankfully, don’t. I don’t hug. This is probably the perfect paragraph to mention my exceptions. Well, let’s see. .. hmmm… tough one. Ok, boyfriends are a definite exception. And extreme mental or emotional breakdowns. That’s it. I can handle any other situation perfectly well without a hug.

I have a really simple reason for my resistance to casual hugging. I used to have a business economics teacher at school who always use to tell us “make yourselves scarce”. The bottom line being that scarce skills, objects, minerals, talents and experiences have always been most sought after by people all over the world. Why then are people so generous with handing out physical intimacy? I want my hugs to be scarce. I always tell my friends, don’t take it lightly, if I give you a hug, you can be sure it means something. I can express my love, friendship and companionship to people in many other ways, and that way I get to save the goodies for those special moments. Like a mental breakdown.

So what is the solution to this little problem you might ask? A handshake. Yes, the good old alternative to a hug. It serves the same purpose and saves me having my breasts pushed up against some random person. So go on, shake away people!